You don’t have a network. You’re in relationship with people

We love to talk about our “network.” We put it on résumés. We build it on LinkedIn. We’re told to grow it constantly. But here’s the truth:

You don’t have a network. You are in relationship with people.

That is a completely different mindset. One is passive. The other is active. One is about counting. The other is about caring.

Because people are not assets. They are not leverage. They are not CRM rows. They are humans. Each with energy, intention, and complexity. When we reduce them to part of our “network,” we flatten them. When we treat them as relationships, we show up differently.

Connections are easy. Relationships are effort.

You can add a thousand people on LinkedIn in an afternoon. But how many would vouch for you? How many would you introduce to someone you care about? How many have you texted in the past six months just to check in?

The truth is, most people don’t have a network problem. They have an attention problem. A care problem. A follow-through problem.

Because the strongest relationships are not maintained by algorithms. They are kept alive through presence.

You’re not collecting people. You’re participating with them.

If you are trying to grow your career or your business, your relationships are the most powerful engine you have. Not your list. Not your followers. Not your leads.

The relationships that matter most are the ones where you are in motion together. That means:

• Following up long after the deal falls through
• Remembering someone’s story without having to check notes
• Offering help before being asked
• Showing care that is not tied to a campaign or a launch

These moments do not scale easily. And that is the point.

From “who do I know” to “who am I in flow with”

The best outcomes often do not come from the biggest networks. They come from the deepest relationships. The ones where you can call someone and skip the small talk. The ones where trust exists before the opportunity.

If you find yourself asking, “How do I activate my network?” pause for a moment.

Ask instead: Who have I stayed close to, genuinely?
Where have I shown up without a reason?
Who have I been present for, even when nothing was in it for me?

That is what moves people to move with you.

Let your relationships be alive, not archived

A list of names is not a relationship. A social media connection is not a bond. You are not connected to someone because you met once. You are connected because you keep choosing to be.

So instead of building your network, try this:

• Revisit old conversations with curiosity
• Reach out to someone you admire with no ask
• Stay in the loop even when there is no need
• Choose three people this week to support without fanfare

Not because it is strategic. Because it is human.

And if you do that consistently, you will not need to activate your network.
It will already be moving with you.