What we miss when we automate too much

I saw it happen this week.

Someone posted about how exhausting LinkedIn can feel. The constant noise. The performance. The pressure to post something clever just to stay visible. It was honest and familiar. A breath of fresh air in a place that can often feel like a content treadmill.

Then came the comment.

It was polished. Generic. Polite in that overly neutral way. Something along the lines of “For me, LinkedIn has been more about thoughtful connections.” Which might have landed better if it wasn’t clearly auto-generated. Or signed by “Commented by [AI Tool]” at the bottom.

So, to recap: a real post about the emptiness of LinkedIn
...answered by a bot
...about thoughtful connection.

The irony was hard to miss.

I’ve been there

A few years ago, before joining Anchor, I thought about building a tool just like that. Something to help me keep up. I wasn’t trying to be fake. I was just overwhelmed. I didn’t want to forget to respond. I didn’t want to drop anyone. I wanted to stay in motion with the people I care about.

So I get the instinct. I really do.

But Relationshiping asks something different.

It asks us not just to keep the connection alive but to show up inside of it.

Tools can support relationships. They can’t be the relationship.

Automation is great for logistics.
It can remind you.
Ping you.
Queue the next step.

But it can’t care.
It can’t read the room.
It can’t say, “Actually, now isn’t the moment.”
It can’t adjust tone based on how someone’s feeling.

That’s the human part. That’s Relationshiping.

Real presence never comes from a template

We’ve trained ourselves to move faster, scale easier, systematize everything. And it’s working. Until it’s not.

Because connection isn’t efficient
It’s not fast
It’s not frictionless
And it’s not something you can queue

Here’s what it looks like instead:

• A comment that reflects what the person actually said
• A message that references something they didn’t think you’d remember
• A pause before sending because you’re checking in with intention
• A follow-up that lands because it wasn’t automated

Those are the moments that stay with people
They build trust, not just touchpoints

The moment you outsource care, you’re no longer in relationship

If Relationshiping is the ongoing act of being in relationship, with presence, attention, and emotion, then automation needs to know its place.

It can’t speak for you
It can only hold the space so you can speak

So before you hit send, ask this:

Does this help the person feel seen or just processed?

That one question can change how you write, how you respond, how you relate.

Because what we miss when we automate too much isn’t just authenticity
It’s the opportunity to be in relationship at all
And that is the part people never forget